=(, ♥

havent been blogging for a few days now. was tied up with tutorials and mugging for test. had a chem test last monday. it was ok except for mcq. mcq was a killer. spent ard 25 min on it wen the whole paper was only 45 min. dammit! as a consequence, my structured questions suffered, wen the structured questions were easier. nana, ur a moron. haiz. if i don get an A, i'll be totaly disappointed. i mean, im not bragging or anything but i've always gotten an A for chem so it wud realy hurt my ego if i dun get an A. n da fact tt i studied hard for the test too.

oh! we officially started doin project work. but my group hasn reali settled on a topic. it sux! we're suppose to get the proposal done by nex week!! urgh! so freakin stressed out wif this. wif everythin.

my entries hasn reali been on bright side. everythin's pissing me off. someone somehow juz had to do things which would piss me off these days. hasn been in a good mood also. although on da surface, i tink i dun look depressed or anythin but inside, my heart is taking the beating. i dun noe till when im able to withstand al these without giving off my calm exterior. i hate wen pple see me bein depressed or down. i'd prefer them to see me smiling and laughing as though i've got the whole world on a string. but i tink im startin to break down. i tend to snap at pple these days wen they piss me. i hate wen i do tt cuz i noe i'd hurt their feelings. but dun they understand tt i have my own problems?? tt rite now, i feel lyk giving up everything?? tt i cry to sleep every nite thinkin of all the shitt-ass things tt happened. n to tink tt my own father played a big part of all tis charade.

i feel so lonely. i reali wan to talk to sumone who'd understand me and not judge me by my words. i mean, my frens are great but how can i burden them wif all this crap wen they haf their own problems. haiz. i reali feel lyk giving up.

help! SOS!