, ♥

i won't admit in having it. NO. i simply refuse to. I cant. It won't be me having it.

I just wish... i just wish they will stop clouding my mind with all the burdens. i have enough on my own without having theirs. call me a FUCKING SELF-CENTERED BITCH, but don't i have a right to protect my OWN sanity. ya allah... why is growing up turning out to be so tough. is there a hidden blessing behind all this? at this point, i don't see any. as far as what's tangible, its heading downhill.

behind a fabrication of smile and laughter, there is a weakening soul. one who crys everynight to sleep. one who wakes up in the middle of the night, crying. one who feels as though her tears are so cheap, they flow incessantly. one who keeps her guards up in front of an audience, but has clandestine affairs that is tearing her apart. one who had her life overturned, almost overnight. she is cheated by her own pretext. she is no longer strong. she's weakening. circumstances has drained all the strength that she had.

if only all this will end....