, ♥

firstly, in repressing the bitter feeling in my gut. the kind you get when urr world's topsy-turvy. AND im trying to keep my composure(and prolly my reputation) from not putting on a teary show. how i feel? how i feel? hopeless. no, that's an understatement. what's beyond hopeless? hopeless hopeless. i might as well commit harakiri. its less painful.i never thought its going to be this hard. the fact that i had to arm lock myself to stop from reaching for my phone when the adults are having a screaming fest(bleargh!).

try, say you run away from home. thinking that you'll be better off because home is just, well, not working out. and then what? you have nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. not anymore under your duvet, because simply, its not there anymore. you cant bury ur face in the pillows and cry your heart out because YOU RAN AWAY. and then, only you realise that home had always and will always be the best sanctuary. maybe its nowhere near utopia, but you've somewhere to run to when your day turned out to be icky. or when... you just need a place to hear you ramble about nonsensical and precocious fears. or just someone to make you feel safe and keep your smile going. try asking me how it is. i just ran away.

do i feel hurt? more like disappointment. puhlease snap me out of this trance.