, ♥

Everytime I try to write this down, I feel as though Im lying. Cheating my own feelings. Because deep down, I know its impossible. But I have to. For my own sake.Yes, for my own sake. He always remind me to think of myself when Im in a dilemma. And not to put other's feeling priority over mine. "What do you think?" "How do you feel?"

I've held on long enough. Its time I let go. Im only 17. Chaining myself will not benefit me in the long run. In other words, Im breaking free. Maybe im only protecting my own feelings but if it gives me comfort, let it be. Im seeking solace in this silence, seeking refuge in this denial. Im moving on. And its for my sake. It'll take time, how long I don't know. But Im willing to do, for my sake.

I don't want to lose the most essential thing in my life, that is his friendship, and by moving on, I know I'll not lose. I don't know how things will turn out, but i'll wait and see. There's something deeper than just loving, its about loving completely. And I think by breaking free, i'd be able to do that. If there is hikmah disebalik ni semue, i'll let fate decides.

Am I lying? No. I want to be happy too. For my sake.